An invisible singlet.... :(

hai...... I'm filled with regret now... remember the tree top walk I went on sat?... hai... as a result of that, I now have sun burns on my shoulders :( aaaahhhhh........ Initially, I was quite fine with it. Tot it makes me look sporty with a bit of tan!!! so I didnt put on any sunblock. BUT now, I'm really filled with regret.. its so ugly lah... I look like I'm wearing an invisible singlet! How am I gonna wear speghetti stripes for the next few weeks or months? ahh....... and Joy's wedding is in 3 wks time... how? it will look so ugly with my dress urgh...... Need some urgent beauty advice. HELP!!

I can drive!! (in the circuit)

hahah... yupz! I can drive... but in the circuit only :) today is my very first driving lesson! I was initially quite reluctant to go for it cos I felt that its abit waste of time... partly cos I hv lotsa work to do. But it turns out quite fun! but also frustrating cos I'm still not too familar with the control! Nevertheless, my instructor said that I did quite well for a first timer :) So Evelyn and James! watch out! its gonna be tough beating me on this! hahah... well then again, its too early to say! I can be quite a retard with my motor skills.

Anyway, I'm so proud of myself!! I just sent an email to my china fren in CHINESE!! yes in Chinese!!! WOW! I manage to figure out how to do the chinese typing through XP on my own and manage to type a half page email! not bad huh!! I deserve a pat on my back :P hahaha... I've been corresponding with them in English actually, but it turns out that some of them had difficulties understanding my email.... oh well.. guess I need to accomodate to them and put in more effort to polish up my chinese.

The past week had been quite hectic! That's why I didnt manage to blog anything..... I was quite overwhelmed with work and becoming abit stressed out.... Guess most of you had heard me complain about my work and stuff.... yupz its the proposal tat's giving me some headache.... and its due end of the month! die.... there's so many different things to consider and look into.... legislation, standing orders, treatment, counselling, community resources, regulations, trends and statistics, etc... Plus, I have a very meticulous and detailed boss to report too.... hai... God pls help me.... Its not that I dont like wat I'm doing, its in fact very challenging and interesting. But I just hope that I have the resources to make my job easier. On top of this, I still need to juggle with my current responsiblities..and not forgetting the assignment that is due in 2 weeks time! Die...... sometimes I feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken. No time to sit down to think and reflect. and even if I hv time, its spent on staring into the computer. God pls, help me.

I actually brought back quite alot of work to do over the weekend. But it ended up that my schedule is so packed that I only managed to do it this evening... oh well.. no regrets, cos I had quite a good weekend, although half the time I was thinking abt my work and worrying over it. I even had difficulties sleeping. I'll wake up and start thinking abt work. I know this is a sign that I'm stress.

anyway, although things seems pretty depressing, I did manage to find time to go for a 10 Km walk at Mac Ritchie reservior with my colleagues and visit the tree top walk :) Quite proud of myself for being able to complete it without complains and also with not much problem. Its nice to go back to nature and enjoy the scenery, the trees and the "jungle" walk :) away from urbanisation!! the highlight of the day was actually a live demonstration of a snake eating a lizard! quite interesting and we were all facinated by it. It kinda compensated for the not so interesting tree top walk. hahaha... Well, although now I have sun burns on my shoulders and muscle aches on my legs... I'm glad that I went for it ... time out from the stress of urban living and return to nature :)

alright... another week is about to start.. hope I'll survive victoriously!

Accident!

Today is the 1st day of cny.. yup! But it was quite a boring day for me. Didnt go for any visitation. So I just stayed at home the whole day and watch VCD and TV. well, it was quite relaxing I guess.. Its been a long time since I stayed at home the whole day and not go anywhere. Just relaxing and not rush :) quite enjoy it actually.

Unfortunately, something bad happened. Just now at around 5pm.. My brother got into an accident at the PIE. About 5-6 cars actually clash into one another. and my brother's car was the 2nd car. He was actually able to stop in time not to hit the car infront of him but unfortunately, the Volvo behind him ram into his car and it triggered a chain of collision. My brother's car was quite badly hit.. but fortunately no one was hurt. The volvo obviously, was less fragile and survived with little damage. But my brother's 2 mths old car had to be nursed in the "hospital" for 2 weeks (I've not even seen his brand new car yet!!). By the time he reached my house, he was visibly affected... think he literally felt the heartache... well I hope he will get over it soon. At least he dont need to pay anything cos its covered by insurance.

Actually, when I 1st heard the news from my Dad when he called home, I was not exactly very anxious. Something in me just tells me that my brother and SIL are fine. My mother on the other hand was freaked out. Couldnt even sit still. She had always been worried for my brother since he bought the new car. About 7 yrs ago, my brother actually got into another accident. He ram into a tree and the car was gone. Thank God, he was unhurt at that time. Because of that accident, we have always been concerned for him since he started driving again. And somehow, I'm not that surprise that he got into another accident.

Well, really need to thank God for protecting him and my SIL once again and also for my family who is supportive towards him.

What a way to start the 1st day of CNY!

Its in good hands

Tomorrow is cny eve... but guess wat? ALthough I get to work for only half day, I was asked to make a presentation to all my big bosses. Yup... its to present the proposal I was telling all of u abt. Wat a way to celebrate the holiday season! well... nevermind, strangely, I'm not very anxious about it. I am abit concerned but not stressed or anything. well, I believe God is the one who had granted me peace. I just hope that they will not shoot me down with questions I can't answer.... Whatever, it is... I'm leaving it to God. And I believe He will be with me in the meeting room.

Today is a busy day. But my unit managed to find time to go out for a cny lunch. It was good food and good company :) HOwever, had to rush back office to finish up all my work...

I had a good time travelling home today. For some strange reason, I was able to admire the scenery on the road and appreciate God's creation. It was quite peaceful and serene. Things that I had neglected and taken for granted in the past suddenly became quite beautiful and I just marvelled at God's creation. The clouds and sunset was really beautiful... the colours and shades of sunset. WOW. I just wondered to myself... how can anyone think that there is no God... If there's no God, then who could have created all these things? The walk home from the bus stop was just as good! The gentle breeze blowing on my hair as I swing my bag home....... Its good to appreciate such things in life and learn to let go and let God! :)

He will decide..

How often do we meet with dilemmas? Well, I think we are not strangers to it. Since the beginning of this week, I've been caught in a dilemma. I have to decide whether to take on a new project or remain in my current work which I had actually just started in Nov or to take on a new project which I had put up a proposal for last yr. It's quite a tough decision for me initially cos' I quite like the ppl I'm working with right now and the work can be quite interesting although at times it can be tough. Furthermore, I've been on my current project for the past 2 yrs plus. I definitely hav an attachment to it and have the desire to see my work materialise. However, the new project also seems to be a good opportunity and good learning experience. Although, I'm unsure about the ppl I'm gonna work with...
After some thought, I decided to stay put.. although I did wonder to myself if I'm chickening out and not willing to take challenges.... well, I do have my reasons (ask me personally if u wanna find out).
Although, I've made my decision, I also understand tat it may ultimately not be up to me to decide.. The big bosses has the final say.
But to me, my BIG boss is God. I had committed it into His hands and I strongly believe that he knows what's best for me even though I may not be able to understand or see it now. I've learned not to be over concerned about it but to just commit to God in prayer. I know that he knows wat's best and even if its gonna be tough for me. I know He will see me through and help me to overcome it.

Jer 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The responsiblity of an adult.....

I'm starting to have feelings of aversion towards work..... Can't exactly pinpoint why... but I guess it could be cos of the different issues/things I need to handle... continous flow of issues and problems... the need to think on my toes all the time... the politics... the competition (not so much the indiv competition but more so the group).... the pressure to perform.... discouraging incidents/ encounters..... lack of understanding from others... different working styles....well maybe abit of all that..
I remembered not so long ago... I actually was very motivated at work! I even look fwd to going to office each day... I felt challenged and I was motivated to do my best in the projects I was involved in... and the meaning I get out of working with my clients.... I felt intellectually stimulated and I was happy and fulfilled ....
But it seems now adays... this kind of feelings is slowly deminishing....(esp. after I came back from China) maybe its cos I'm doing things cos it needs to be done... or cos someone asked me to do it.... But not cos' I want to.... maybe cos' I fail to see meaning in the work I do ... at least for now.
well.... I hope I'll be able to rekindle that passion I once had... hopefully things will be better after I start seeing clients again... (fYI: I'm doing staff/policy work for the past 2-3mths.....) well.... but seriously .... wat's the meaning in all this .. I think I need to sit down and put more tots into this .. else I dont think I can survive long
ok... I may not make sense in this posting... cos its 139am now and I'm probably just babbling away...