Something's missing

My Grandma passed away. It was Tuesday, 15 Mar 05 @ 1240 noon. She was 91. It was quite a surprise for me cos we all thought that she's healthy and will hav a few more years to go... But things didnt turn out that way. She's not a Christian. .... .... n I dont know where is she right now. Or maybe I know. But I dont wanna think abt it......................... I just dont wanna go to that part of my awareness....... I dont wanna think about it.

Time and again, my mum had tried to share the gospel with her but she jus turn a deaf ear. I believe deep inside her, she wants to go and find my grandpa after she passed away.

She's been staying with us for the past 2 years. But sometimes I really wonder if she's really happy. She like her hometown better and her grandchildren and other relatives there better cos they are more familiar to her.. Singapore is a whole new environment for her. And she's far away from things that she's familiar with. For the pass 2 years her memory had deteriorated and had become dementic. Sometimes it can get really frustrating for her and my family, esp. my mum since she's the main caregiver. I trully admire my mum. She's a really good daughter in law to my grandma. Taking care of her in everyway even when she became dementic. Well at least, my Dad said openly infront of us today that he really appreciate my mum for putting my grandma above herself. She is indeed a good testimony to my Dad and my other non-beliving relatives.

My grandma, actually passed away on my mum's arms. I think God had been really good to her and my family. Thank God that my grandma passed away when my mum was at home cos its the school holidays, else nobody will know that she passed away until my mum return from work. Thank God that my brother had not left for italy, else he will miss sending my grandma off and my relatives will be very unhappy. Thank God that we were able to hav a christian funeral although my grandma is not a christian and my relatives did not object.
And Thank God tat my grandma passed away peacefully with no pain..................

I dono...... I was feeling ok for the pass few days.. I cried when I saw her dead when I went home... but after that .. I guess.. I manage to cope with it quite well. I think everyone who visited me must hv felt that I'm ok... but I'm crying now..... I think it finally sets in.... I wonder where is she right now... and I hope she's fine....

stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed

Well, I'm stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed and abit disappointed with myself... yup.... that's quite a string of negative emotions... anyway, basically.... I'm very busy and hv very little time and I'm abit stretch... But I dont really wanna talk abt it cos I realise that most of my blogs are talking abt negative stuff. and also.. I hv no time to talk abt it here.... got to go back to work now.. although my eyes are super tired and my brain is abit dead ...